Those of us who grew up witnessing and/or experiencing yelling, arguing, name calling, hitting as a form of discipline, addiction, poverty, abandonment, rejection, etc., may cope with suppressing all emotions, or lashing out. We may intentionally or unintentionally distract and avoid conflict, have big emotional over reactions, numb with substances, sex, relationships, and anything else to avoid feeling pain or discomfort.  Sadly, this eventually leads to many failed relationships, addictions or habits that have negative consequences. Some would struggle with mental health challenges like chronic depression, anxiety, fear of being alone, self-sacrifice, etc. Others may have more physical health issues like insomnia, digestion related issues, headaches, autoimmune etc. Interestingly, most people who seek my help, don’t believe they have had painful or traumatic events that have shaped their reality and relationships.  Part of healing is understanding our own story and acknowledging what was painful, even if no one meant to hurt you.  Owning our narrative is the beginning of our recovery.  When pain has occurred within relationships, it has to heal within a relational context.  The most difficult relationship to heal is the one we have with ourselves. EMDR can help.